Listen to this story

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Forget trying to love yourself.

Figure out why you’re lying to yourself.

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Life is not a love story and this is not a romantic comedy.

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How about: the better you are at calling bullshit on yourself, the less bullshit you’ll tolerate.

How, then, does vulnerability — my vulnerability — help the world to become a better place?

Most people take it for granted that the extremity of the feeling fades little by little.

And so happiness, it seems to me, cannot be an aim in itself.

But without vulnerability, without sincerity, I fail to see how one can ever know either extreme.

Emotions are…in effect, acknowledgements of neediness and lack of self-sufficiency (22).

It seems as if the rest of the world got together without me and came to an agreement.

But in another sense, do we not all face similar problems?

‘In speaking for ourselves we speak for everyone’, says the artist.

Perhaps this is why truth is so often couched in stories and hidden in everyday life.

We separate further from them because we do not want them to see.

Emotions are forms of judgment…it is something close to this thesis that I shall defend.

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So…do narcissists F.L.Y. too high?

Apparently, or so they say, we must learn to love ourselves before others will love us.

We encounter hardships and come to need something that only another can provide; our sense of value…love and friendship still matter to us for their own sake.

And so we cannot live in a fantasy. At the same time, we do not want to live in a world stripped of imagination.

I acknowledge that my own sense of self may not be what others see, and in fact, likely is not, most of the time.

To believe them would be to give up all further claims to my own sense of myself as a living being who is experiencing life.

I live my life on the assumption that I know myself best.

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Who ever said that self-love was “selfish”? People also say that about suicide.

Specifically, I’m thinking about a recent experience that I had on an online dating site.

Overall, I don’t think it’s worth getting too bent out of shape over instances such as this.

If we are characters in our own stories, then we are truthful insofar as we stick to our emotional barometers in any given situation.

But I don’t really believe that a person’s motivations and actions can be neatly tucked behind one noun.

It is the action itself that must be judged.

A less extreme example is the “alcoholic” or the drug addict; the person who is high on a day to day basis and cannot get a job.

I’m not really capable of lying, which is both a detriment — but it’s also something that I like about myself.

I am made unlike any one I have ever met; I will even venture to say that I am like no one in the whole world. I may be no better, but at least I am different.

Ethical conflict stems from a lack of understanding between people rather than any true difference in moral character, most of the time.

Flannery has a PhD in Comparative Literature. She teaches French, Italian, and visual media. Her book on Taiwanese cinema can be found on Amazon.

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